I just checked my DM’s (direct messages) on Instagram and had one that had a message similar to others that I usually get four or five times per week. This is what it said:
“Can you give me a shoutout to help me build my followers?”
Simple question. I took a look at their profile and yes, if I were to give them a shoutout they probably would gain some new followers from it.
But these DM’s actually frustrate me so much!
Who are you?
You’re not even following me! (This one really boils my blood)
Why would I want to promote you to my followers when I know nothing about you?
What do I get out of it?
Side Note: Read Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook by Gary Vaynerchuk if you want to learn how to use social media for your business or as an influencer.
When I read a message like this I just quickly delete it. I move and forget about them.
There’s a lesson away from social media to learn from this. What can we learn from this to make good first impressions in person?
Have you ever met someone for the first time and then the remainder of the conversation was only about them?
Have you ever met someone for the first time and then the remainder of the conversation was their sales pitch focused 100% on their product with zero part of the conversation about your needs?
So what’s the similarity?
A lot of times it’s hitting delete and forgetting about them, the same as a DM.
Of course you can’t always develop a long term relationship with someone before you try to sell or create business. But how you make your first impression will definitely have an impact on the final outcome.
So let’s explore how you can make a good first impression.
First off, be genuine. Everyone knows when you are a fake.
If you come across as fake on insincere you’re not going to have any better results than my friend above on Instagram.
It’s Not All About You
Put the focus on them, not on you. Build the relationship around what you understand about them and their needs and wants, not around you.
As Dale Carnegie says in How to Win Friends & Influence People:“…the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.”
Oh no, what was their name? Have you ever been two sentences into a conversation and realize you’ve already forgot their name, which was given to you less than 30 seconds ago?
From the introduction, listen to what they are saying. Too often people are so focused on figuring out what they are going to say next they don’t really hear what the other person is saying. Listen with an intent to really learn from what they are saying. What are their wants? What are their needs? What are they excited about?
If you truly put the effort into listening, you will learn a lot about a person.
What Can You Do?
“The past is gone. The present is NOW, NOW, NOW! The only place we can help to create value is in the future.”Dan Sullivan
Make a difference by helping. Listen for ways you can add value and help them achieve the things they are excited about in the future.
You will make a much better first impression if you remember these things the next time you meet someone. Remember, make the conversation about them, not you.
Lets take another look at my friend on Instagram. Rather than randomly asking me to give him a shoutout, if he had followed me and spent some time engaging with me and finding ways he could have added value to me, I likely would have been happy to help him out at some point in the future. But instead… Delete & Forget…