“Leaders have to learn to live with instability.”
– Coach K.
This Success Strategies video is a clip taken from the November 20, 2019 Inner Circle Mastermind Call. To find our more about the Inner Circle Mastermind, you can visit http://bit.ly/MastermindSpecialOffer
Transcript of Video:
But I also want to talk a little bit about the confidence factor. Belief and certainty is basically to me, what confidence is. Confidence in yourself that you’re going to be able to do it. And again, that’s where the power of the mind is so effective. But you’ve also got to recognize that confidence is an emotion that can come and go. It’s not something that we have. It’s something that we need to create. I’ve heard, well this morning, I heard Brandon Bouchard, use the example that a power plant doesn’t have energy. It creates energy. And that’s what we need to be like with our confidence. We need to continue to build our own confidence in various areas of our lives.
To do that, we’ve got to start by deciding we are going to be confident. And sometimes that’s all you need to do is be able to decide I’m going to be confident in this area and go about doing it. But as we decide to be confident, and we start to do things over and over, that’s when we’re going to be able to build it. The more you do something, obviously the more you can gain your confidence in it. As you get more experience, the more you practice something, turns into a skill, turns into a competency, and it just grows from there. I think you can see that in pretty much any area of your life, from a baby trying to walk to an adult. The more you do it, the more you have confidence in it.
One of the factors that I’ve heard people talk about with confidence is fear. If you’re confident, does it mean you have no fear? My belief on that is no. It doesn’t. Look at a firefighter. Firefighters will fight fires, and that doesn’t mean they’re not going to have fear. But they are going to be confident in their ability. A Navy SEAL. A Navy SEAL is still going to have the anxieties and fears that go along with their job, but they know what they can do. And they’re going to be confident in their abilities.
Going back to my rodeo days as a steer wrestler, I had a lot of confidence in myself. I had tremendous confidence in myself. But there is also a lot of times … I can remember some specific times that as I backed into the corner ready to go, I was confident in my ability, but the anxiety, and maybe not fear, but whatever it was, I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest. That doesn’t mean I didn’t have the confidence.
The fact that you have fear doesn’t diminish the confidence. That’s one thing that we just need to make sure that we can keep a handle on and understanding of. Then a lot of it comes down to your own mindset. And that includes not only the things that you’re telling yourself, but your body language, all the different things that when you’re conscious of it, you can control it. It’s the words you speak to yourself, your body language, and just the thoughts that you’re allowing to happen. As we focus on creating more powerful rather than disempowering thoughts, we can build our own confidence. We’ve talked about this many times in different inner circle masterminds is there’s nothing more powerful than what we can do with our mind. Once you can start believe in yourself, believing in yourself, you’re going to be able to have a lot more confidence. And that’s going to roll into the cycle of belief and certainty. That’s the entire cycle of where success will build.
Hey, thanks for watching. This was a clip taken from our inner circle mastermind call earlier this week. You can learn more about becoming a member of our inner circle on the next screen. Take note of the website that’s there, and if you have any questions, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks, and have a great day.
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How do you perform under pressure? How do you perform under emotional pressure? When something goes wrong, you’ve failed, how do you react?
As a basketball coach I have to admit that I have had experiences when things were not going right and things got emotional, and I didn’t respond in the best way. If a referee makes a bad call in a basketball game that has a negative impact on my team at a key point in the game, will it make things better for us if I lose my mind on the ref? Is there a chance if I scream and yell that maybe he will apologize and change his call? Of course not.
But on the other hand what negative could come from it? To begin with, that negative emotion is absorbed by my team. I’m showing my team, through my actions, what is acceptable. The referee isn’t going to be looking to give me any breaks or do me any favors going forward, maybe even beyond this one game.
I’m not writing this to talk about basketball referees and how you should react if they make a call you don’t agree with. What I want to look at is how we can take all of our experiences, both good and bad, and learn from them so that when we face a similar circumstance in the future we will be prepared to deal with it in the best possible way.
Whether we are in a team environment or as an individual we can look at both our good and bad experiences and learn from them. In both cases there are emotions tied to the experience that we need to be able to work around. In a positive outcome we may be flooded with positive emotions that give us the false belief that everything went right and we don’t have to think anymore about it. In a negative outcome you may feel that nothing went right and you don’t even want to think about it anymore. But the reality is that we have much to learn from both outcomes that can transform our futures.
As an individual, as a family, as a business or as a team this is an exercise that could have a major impact on your future outcomes.
After an event, either positive or negative, take the time to learn from it. Capture what the situation was, what are the facts? What about it wasn’t great and could get better? What worked? Strategize about how to make sure it happens for the better next time.
Dan Sullivan talks about “The Greatest Teacher” in his podcast INSIDE Strategic Coach. He suggests making three small boxes on a piece of paper to work through the situation:
- What Worked – This should open the flood gates and allow everyone to appreciate the there were things that worked
- What Needs to Improve – Here you can identify the problems, the things that didn’t work, so that you can improve on them for the future
- Strategies for the Future – This will make you alert to all situations in the future. You may not have an identical situation, but by going through this exercise you will be aware of how you can apply this experience to others situations in the future
Dan says that by going through this process you can create a positive momentum for the future and not be bogged down by the past.
In my basketball example I have two opportunities to go through this. First I could sit down with my assistant coaches and have a discussion and secondly I could go through the process with my team. This would allow us to look at the situation and the outcome. It would allow us as coaches and as a team to strategies on how we would react to a similar situation in the future which will hopefully bring us a better outcome.
Today in the entrepreneurial world failure is often looked at almost as a badge of honor. We hear the quotes:
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again”
“Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success”
“Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something”
The last quote in this list is key because for anything good to come out of failure, we have to learn from our mistakes. Otherwise, failure is just failure.
As I have mentioned earlier, this is an exercise that should be used after both successful and unsuccessful outcomes so that we can learn from each of them. But this is an exercise that will allow us to look at our failures to learn from them so that we can be successful in the future.
“Your experience when you’re having intense [positive or negative] emotions is the greatest teacher you can possibly have. Channel it and you’ll always come up with amazing breakthroughs.”– Dan Sullivan
If you’d like to learn more about our mastermind groups where as a collective group we help each other learn from our combined experiences click the button below:
“Don’t worry about losing. Think about winning.” – Coach K.
Another season of basketball has gone by in a flash. My son, Daxon, played for American Leadership Academy in Queen Creek, Arizona. He had a good season and grew as a player. I’m looking forward to watching him develop more over the coming years. His dedication and work ethic are going to open up opportunities.
“What made (John) Wooden a great coach wasn’t praise, wasn’t denunciation, and certainly wasn’t pep talks. His skill resided in the Gatling-gun rattle of targeted information he fired at his players. This, not that. Here, not there.“