“The FASTEST way to getting back on my feet is to find the right customer who will advertise for me through word-of-mouth referrals.”Julie Stoian
Self-discipline was twice as accurate as IQ in predicting the students’ grade-point average
An Excerpt, with some minor edits, from a note I was sending someone hoping to help them in a tough spot. I wanted to share it here as well, just in case someone reads it that could gain something from it.
You have been searching for answers and feel that you are not getting them. I can promise you that there will be a day when you look back on this time and will be able to see blessings that you cannot see now. You will be able to see where His hand was guiding you. You will understand the Why. Why you had to go through this trial. Why it wasn’t easier. And that is how you will make a difference in the world for many, many people. There are people near you that need you now. There are people nowhere close to you now that are going to need you. Everyone is dealing with their own struggles and challenges and they need help. Most can’t be helped by someone that has the book smarts on the struggle. But the person who can make a difference, the person who can change their life, the person who can save them is the one who has been there. The one who has been in their shoes and has conquered that challenge. My friend lost a baby boy and a brother in a short period. Nobody could really help her through those difficult times that hadn’t been through something similar. But now, she can take those tragic experiences and help many others going through their own tragic times. I often recall an old Young Woman’s theme, “I can do hard things.” Every hard thing that you have pushed yourself through, whether it was in a relationship, a sport, in business or something else has prepared you for something you will go through and deal with at some point in the future. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” You’ve been through hard things in the past and it has strengthened you. You are going to go through hard things throughout your life and they will continue to strengthen you. Right now may be the hardest thing that you have had to deal with up to this point of your life. You can do it. You will grow from it. You are amazing. YOU are going to make a difference in the world!
Early in my career when I was a bank manager there were many things about my position that I enjoyed. I loved working with customers, analyzing their businesses to find the best solutions for them, and I loved coaching and mentoring my staff. Before I was in this position at the bank I had a manager who was a great coach to me. He mentored me well and taught me a lot about being a manager and a coach.
Throughout my career, coaching is one thing that I’ve continued to enjoy and today I love working with clients to help them work on their businesses, leadership and their personal lives. But whether I’m working with one of my clients, my own team or even the basketball team that I coach, there is one thing that drives me crazy.
What is it that drives me crazy?
It’s when something doesn’t work out because they didn’t do the things that I knew would work. It’s when my client, team or players don’t listen to me.
That is the reason that I’m writing this right now. Lets flip the situation around and put me in the client’s seat. Even though I’ve always loved coaching and leadership I’ve never done much in the way of writing or publishing. My coach has recently been talking to me about “finding my voice.” He wants me to start publishing on a regular basis, even if it’s only for my own benefit. He told me to write articles, blog, use Facebook Live, podcast, it didn’t matter. Just start doing something and share it somewhere.
Later when I was alone I sat down to my computer and thought about it. I understood what he was wanting and why it would benefit me. But my thought was that maybe journaling would be good enough. I would do all the writing, I just wouldn’t publish it anywhere. But then I put my coaching hat back on and thought about it some more. From a coaching perspective, I know why he wants me to do it. I also know as a coach how I would feel if I asked one of my clients to do this but they didn’t.
As a client, team member or player, if you want to grow and benefit from what your coach can do for you, you need to be all in. You need to do the things you are asked to do, even if it’s hard. Sometimes the task isn’t what you learn the most from. It’s the discipline of going through with the task that is the real teacher.
“What made (John) Wooden a great coach wasn’t praise, wasn’t denunciation, and certainly wasn’t pep talks. His skill resided in the Gatling-gun rattle of targeted information he fired at his players. This, not that. Here, not there.“
“Sixty percent of what you teach applies to everybody. The trick is how you get that sixty percent to the person. If I teach you, I’m concerned about what you think and how you think. I want to teach you how to learn in a way that’s right for you. My greatest challenge is not teaching Tom Brady but some guy who can’t do it at all, and getting them to a point where they can. Now that is coaching.”
There is a tremendous difference between feeling the fear and doing it anyway and the freedom which comes from finding the space in yourself which is beyond fear. And the more time you spend living beyond fear, the sooner the answer to ‘What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?’ will become ‘Exactly what I’m doing now.'”