Dealing With Negative People

We all have to deal with negative people at some point. How do you deal with it?

You need to be conscious of the impact it has on you. I can recall when I’ve been around the negative energy and attitude of someone and the next thing I know I’m unloading negativity onto someone else.

Just stay away from negative people. Eliminate them from your life. Who cares what they think… Right?

It’s really not quite that easy, so then what?

Some people are chronically negative. They are always complaining. Finding the bad in everything. The Eeyore’s of the world.

With others it may be out of character but something has triggered them to be in a mood.

A while ago I wrote, “The Crowd’s Chanting ‘Airball’… You’re Thinking, ‘NEXT!’ I talked about how you have to deal with negativity by moving on. I used a Tweet from Gary Vaynerchuk as an example where he said “I just don’t give a @$%& about what anybody thinks about me, because they don’t know who the *&^% I am inside.” 

But here’s the thing. The context of that article was talking about the impact of your own negative self-talk and the negative feedback from social media. Sometimes the “I don’t care” attitude and brushing them off might be the answer, but not all the time.

When you consciously prepare for something before it happens, you are better able to deal with it when you’re actually in the situation because you can stop yourself from reacting based on emotions.

 When you have to deal with negative people, keep these four points in mind:

Decide Your Response and Don’t Allow Yourself to Get Sucked In

You always have the choice to decide your response. In Man’s search for MeaningViktor E. Frankl said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

It doesn’t matter how negative, nasty or degrading someone is to you. You are always the one choosing how you respond. Don’t let your emotions dictate your reaction and suck you into their negativity. 

Don’t Let Their Problem Become Your Problem

Often, when someone is spewing their negativity onto you, it really has nothing to do with you at all. But they want someone on their side. They want someone to agree with them or just listen to them on whatever it is they are ranting about. 

It’s not your job to justify their negativity, fix their problem or take it upon yourself. Don’t allow yourself to become everyone’s problem solver and become infected with their negativity.

Hold Your Tongue

This one can be a challenge. There will be times that it’s not just a negative person you are dealing with. Sometimes they will be attacking you, someone you love, your thoughts or your goals. 

When this happens you need to stand up for yourself, right? Will it really change anything if you do?  You might feel like you have to justify your thoughts or actions, but you don’t. 

“In life, it’s important to know when to stop arguing with people and simply let them be wrong.”

Don’t Let Them Change Your Path

If someone tells you that your dreams are unrealistic, should you change them? As you read that I’m sure you thought to yourself, “of course not.” But are you sure? Have you ever been excited about something only to share it with someone and you were deflated after you saw their response? Maybe they even laughed at it or told you that you’re crazy.

 I’m blessed with the most supportive wife in the world. From day one, I’ve been able to come to her with any of my crazy dreams and she’s automatically by biggest supporter and cheerleader. 

Recently we were discussing some of our business ideas and activities and she made a comment that crushed me. For the first time in my life I felt like I didn’t have her support in something that I was excited about. I began questioning myself. What am I thinking? Why did I think I could or should do this? But I was able to gather myself and remember the thought and preparation I had put into the idea before beginning it, and I knew it was the right thing.

Luckily I also soon realized that I misinterpreted her comment and she’s still my number one supporter!

When you know you’re on the right path, don’t let the negativity of someone else change it. 

Our attitudes are a choice that we have. Just as someone’s negative attitude or personality can have an impact on others, your positive attitude and excitement can have an impact on others as well.

Everyone is dealing with some kind of challenge. Be the light in their life!

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Book Quote of the Week – 050

Peter Diamandis

Peter has a set of rules that guide his life. His 28 Peter’s Laws have been collected over decades. Here are some favorites:

Law 2: When given a choice…take both.

Law 3: Multiple projects lead to multiple successes.

Law 6: When forced to compromise, ask for more.

Law 7: If you can’t win, change the rules.

Law 8: If you can’t change the rules, then ignore them.

Law 11: “No” simply means begin again at one level higher.

Law 13: When in doubt: THINK

Law 16: The faster you move, the slower time passes, the longer you live.

Law 17: The best way to predict the future is to create it yourself. (Adopted from Alan Kay)

Law 19: You get what you incentivize.

Law 22: The day before something is a breakthrough, it’s a crazy idea.

Law 26: If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it.

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Book Quote of the Week 036

Quote

Whatever your brand stands for, you have to deliver on the promise.  Don’t promise what you can’t deliver, and deliver everything you promise.  That’s the only way you’ll ever control your brand.  And beware: brands always mean something.  If you don’t define what the brand means, a competitor will.

Richard Branson

 

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Richard Branson: Business Stripped Bare Notes & Quotes

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Notes/Quotes:
Richard Branson is someone who has always fascinated me. I love his story. I love what he’s done, how he’s done it and how he continues to do it. Following are some of the notes I took while reading one of his books, Business Stripped Bare: Adventures of a Global Entrepreneur.
There’s a lot of great stuff in this book. Highly recommend reading it and then reading it again. Make your own notes and occasionally refer back to them or come back here and read these notes again. There are a number of great things that you’ll be reminded of and will help spark new ideas to grow yourself and your business.
People
  • Avoid taking on someone else’s legacy
  • If you are in the mood to buy a new business – wait.  It can take a long time to change a business culture.  Are you sure you wouldn’t be better off starting one from scratch?
  • In business, someone who can stay cool and calm under pressure is an asset.
  • There’s no rule book.  the past is the past.  We can’t preserve it
  • small, compact companies are, generally better run
  • Put people together in a way that will have them bouncing ideas off each other, befriending each other, and taking care of each other, and suddenly they are coming to you, not with gripes and problems, but with solutions and great ideas.
  • Given the right conditions, exceptional people will reveal themselves
  • There’s another thing about teams: they don’t last forever
  • When the business lets you, shake things up a little
  • The best manager is someone who cares about people and who is genuinely interested and wants to bring out the best in them
  • A manager should basically be a considerate person who is as interested in the switchboard operator and the person who cleans the lavatories as he or she is in the fellow managers
  • A self-disciplined employee will have the patience to conduct routine business routinely, the talent to respond exceptionally to exceptional circumstances, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two
  • you can’t dictate attitudes from on high.  All you can do is hire the right people and empower them to sort things out as they happen.
  • If someone has paid you for something, and it goes wrong, being cagey or defensive will kill you stone dead
  • If someone has a lousy experience at your hands, they will warn people
  • If you are able to sort out your customers’ problems better than they expected, then they will be your loyal friend for life
Brand
  • Befriending one’s enemy is a good rule for business – and life
  • A brand always means something, and ultimately you can control the meaning of your brand only through what you deliver to customers
  • Turnover can be huge, but it is the profit margin that matters
  • I learned another key fact about running a business: try to have a plan B
  • Publicity is absolutely critical.  You have to get your brand out and about
  • A good PR story is infinitely more effective than a full-page ad, and a damn sight cheaper
  • it is sometimes better to follow a pioneer than be a pioneer
  • Maintaining a consistent tone in the face of rapid growth was a key requirement
  • You can’t restructure culture.  If you’ve burnt people, if you’ve killed their enthusiasm or commitment, then changing office space or putting a few more dollars in their pocket will not unduly affect the culture that exists
  • Whatever your brand stands for, you have to deliver on the promise.  Don’t promise what you can’t deliver, and deliver everything you promise.  That’s the only way you’ll ever control your brand.  And beware: brands always mean something.  If you don’t define what the brand means, a competitor will.
Delivery
  • Don’t waste your precious time.  Phone calls and emails can eat your day.  Don’t let them.  No one will think less of you for getting to the point.
  • I advise every owner of a company to keep a notebook and jot down the things that need doing
  • You must never forget that every change ushers in unforeseen consequences
  • Success one day does not give you a free lunch every day thereafter
  • We’ve started, so we’ll finish
  • Never imagine that you are immune from big events.  Make your small decisions in the light of the bigger picture, and you are at least pointing your craft in the right direction to ride out any storm
  • One business mantra remains embedded in my brain – protect the downside
  • Remember to communicate, and pay attention to detail
  • Don’t be afraid of changing your bank if they are unreasonable.  Banks are not for life.  But don’t put it off till the last minute
  • Out of recession, new ideas and new business often grow
  • If you are a late entrant to the market, you need to be radically different to win over customers.
  • If you rip off the customer, then you will destroy the integrity of the brand
  • When you’re first thinking through an idea, it’s important not to get bogged down in complexity
  • You can never go too far wrong by thinking like a customer who’s new to the business
  • It’s easy – too easy, in fact – to relinquish your responsibility for your idea to experts.  This is almost always a mistake, because experts are only experts in their field.  They’re not experts in your idea.  At this stage, the only person qualified to assess your idea is you
  • You need to flesh out your own ideas.  You need to do your own research.  You need to take responsibility for how you plan to turn an idea into action
  • Keep a cool head.  You’re in business to deliver change, and if you succeed, the chances that  no one will get hurt are virtually zero.  This is the rough and tumble of business.  Be sportsmanlike, play to win, and stay friends with people wherever possible.  If you do fall out with someone, ring them a year later and take them out to dinner. Befriend your enemies.
  • Being a well funded company puts you at a tremendous advantage
 
Learning from Mistakes and Setbacks
  • Never do anything that means you can’t sleep at night
  • You can’t protect yourself against the unexpected, so you need to keep your house in as good an order as you can.  If disaster strikes, you don’t want to find yourself doing twelve things at once and misprioritising them in public.  It’s vital, therefore, that you take control of your internal business risks – the ones you can influence.
  • I think it is counterproductive to be ruthless.  You’ve got to treat people as you would yourself, or better
  • You definitely should get the best people around you when confronted with a serious problem.  Don’t try to deal with it all by yourself.  Don’t be afraid to seek help and advice.
  • If you drive down the retail price fast enough when you are the dominant player, you never allow anyone else to catch up because they can’t make enough money.  It requires the dominant player to be brave, because it can mean cannibalizing your existing sales by dropping the retail price.  (i.e. Apple and the iPod)
  • Protect your reputation.  Don’t be afraid of making mistakes
  • If you’re hurt, lick your wounds and get up again.  If you’ve given it your absolute best, it’s time to move forward.
Innovation
  • The best, most solid way out of a crisis in a changing market is through experiment and adaption.
  • Innovation is what you get wen you capitalize on luck, when you get up from behind your desk and go and see where ideas and people lead you.
Entrepreneurs and Leadership
  • True leadership must include the ability to distinguish between real and apparent danger.
  • You need to understand the challenges to your enterprise and face up to them.  Equally, you have to resist the temptation to overreact at the first sign of trouble.
  • Every business plan should include: “This company will have lots and lots of parties and social get-togethers.”
  • The creator’s job is to find someone with expertise who understands the vision and is prepared to follow the path.
  • If you can keep the business relatively small, people will know each other within the organisation and feel like part of the team.
  • Decent leadership is about explaining clearly and unemotionally why a decision has been taken.
  • Failure is not giving things a go in the first place.
  • Only a fool never changes his mind.
  • DON’T BRING ME YOUR PROBLEMS – BRING ME THE SOLUTIONS
Social Responsibility
  • It is possible to turn a profit while making the world a better place.
  • What can you do to make a difference?
  • One ought never to turn one’s back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it.  If you do that, you will double the danger.  But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.  Never run away from anything.  Never! – Sir Winston Churchill
  • Don’t forget to listen
Epilogue
  • It is important to look for one’s strengths – to try to excel at what you’re good at.
  • What you’re bad at actually doesn’t interest people, and it certainly shouldn’t interest you.
  • So don’t let your limits knock your self-confidence
  • Success for me is whether you have created something that you can be really proud of.

Get this book and others from Richard Branson HERE, or Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks and listen to his first two books for free!

Build Your Network for Success

networking
My daughter is a junior in high school and is trying to figure out the path she wants to take in life. To help her out I took her to visit with an amazing friend of mine. She runs multiple, successful companies. She serves on multiple boards. He has an incredible family. She serves extensively in our church. I could go on and on, but lets just say if I’d like my daughter to get some life advice, she’s a great one to be getting it from.
As I sat listening to the two of them talk, my friend shared stories, helped make plans and gave some great advice. But there was one part of the conversation that I’ve been thinking a lot about since that meeting. They had been taking about some specific universities and she had told my daughter who her contacts were at these universities. My daughter made a comment about how she seemed to know everybody.
This was the most valuable lesson my daughter could learn in this meeting. My friend expressed to my daughter the importance of who you know.
Does it really matter who you know?
Does it really matter how big or connected your network is?
Really, how valuable is your network?
Your network is everything!
zig_ziglar
As I’ve said in other posts, people are going to do business (or whatever you are relating this to) with people they know, like and trust. Products and services obviously all come into play but on an even playing field, more often than not the decision maker is going to go with the person or company she knows, likes and trusts.
I think back to some of my major business transactions and in every case I had a relationship with the decision maker or the person who sent the referral. Your ability to build the proper network around you will determine your success in everything that you do.
In Thou Shall Prosper: Ten Commandments for Making Money, Rabbi Daniel Lapin talks a great deal about the importance of building your network. He advises us to “build genuine and sincere relationships with as many people as possible with no thought of reward.” This is the key in building your network. Be genuine. Build Friendships. Don’t build relationships based on wanting to know what that person can do to help you. Look for opportunities to help others in your network without expecting anything in return.
As you build and foster relationships you will discover opportunities to serve others and when the time comes that you are in need, you will have someone within your network that you can turn to.
Is there someone right now that you want to connect to? Figure out how you can help them with something they need done. 
Prompt: Learning Together